i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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