So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
