I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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