how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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