office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You are a genius and a whore.
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