i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
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isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
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You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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