so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize