the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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