I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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