i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
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I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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