Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
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I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
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You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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