Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize