My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize