I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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