I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
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I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
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Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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