I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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