I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I want to fling myself into the sun
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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