Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize