I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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