Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize