Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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