You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize