I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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