ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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