we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize