Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize