Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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