lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize