He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize