do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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