It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
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She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
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that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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