I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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