I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
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Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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