So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize