You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
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