Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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