wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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