He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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