I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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