Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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