i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize