no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize