i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize