just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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