Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The Olympian is in my bed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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