My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize