Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize