i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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