The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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