in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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