so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i dont even know how to be here
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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